Beauty and the Beast
by vanila-chan
Summary: A D. Gray man beauty and the beast, just DGM charas playing the roles of Beauty and the Beast. alternates between kanda/lena and yullen.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, this story idea is mine though.**

* * *

The writer wrote on furiously with her pen, "There all done!"

Characters:

Narrator: Vanila

Beauty-Lenalee

Beast-Kanda

Enchantress-Allen

Beauty's brother/guardian-Komui

The horse…in this case the bird that provides transport- Timcampi~

Candle- Lavi

Clock- Miranda

_Motherly_ Teapot- Link

Teacup- Timothy

Hatstand- Krory

Wardrobe- Road

Mayor: Earl

Mayor's Son [1]/Beauty's persistent suitor- Tyki

Mayor's Son [2] aka Tyki's sidekick- Sheryl

The triplets in love with Mayor Son[1]- Debitto, Jasdero and Jasdebi

Town's People- Finders and whoever else in DGM that doesn't have a part

She looked at her work proudly and started imagine how the story would play out from her script, she rubbed her eyes tiredly and decided to put her head down for a few minutes, she fell asleep in five seconds, dreaming away about a fairytale of the Beauty and the Beast.

* * *

** Starto!**-

Once upon a time, there was a handsome but selfish prince. He lived in an enchanting Edo castle surrounded by a lovely garden covered in flowers, and dominated by cherry blossoms that swayed in the gentle wind. In Spring the garden would be bursting with new life, in Summer the birds would come and sing sweet melodies for all to hear, in Autumn the whole garden would be covered in falling cherry blossom. The castle was however the most beautiful in winter, as it would be transformed into a Winter Wonderland, the ground covered in white snow so pure in seemed to give off a blue glow, and the cherry blossoms still left on the trees would be frozen in ice, a very rare and indescribably beautiful sight. But the castle was guarded by an unforgiving gate on the edge of a lonely cliff. Nobody ever dared to go near the castle, in fear of their lives if they were ever found trespassing.

Then one snowy frozen evening, an old lady with wrinkled up wear-out skin knocked on the castle door. "What do you want?" the Prince snapped furiously.

"Please, can I stay in the castle, to stay out from this awful cold?"

"No." He answered as coldly as the howling winter wind.

"Please! I will exchange my stay with this lotus flower." She cried desperately, taking out a lotus with a strange pink blaze.

"No." He answered just as icily as his last reply and slammed the door, leaving the old lady to freeze.

"Master, but the weather is so cold, she won't survive out there!" a timid servant whispered.

"Like I care!"

Suddenly an unbearably bright light of the colours of the rainbow shone from the outside, the door trembled and gave way to it. The bitter cold immediately stole all of the castle's warmth.

"You are very selfish, young prince." A beautiful princess with hair whiter than the snow outside said as she stepped out from the ball of bright glowing light.

"Who are you?" the Prince demanded, not a hint of fear on his face.

The princess smiled angelically, her silver eyes twinkling mysteriously, "I am an Enchantress, also the old lady you cruelly turned away just now."

The prince did not reply but kept the sneer and utter contempt he had on his arrogant face. The Enchantress touched the sinisterly blood red pentacle on her flawless fair skin and produced out the lotus with a strange pink blaze she was holding before, "For your selfishness, I will bestow this curse on you. You will live as a beast of this castle with all your servants under this same curse, unless you can learn to love but before all the petals of this lotus falls off-" and the Enchantress angelic smile became more ominously and a dark aura rose around her, "-if not you would stay as a beast and have to live in this world eternally, never able to go to heaven or hell." With a cackle, the Enchantress started to dissolve into the bright ball of light.

"CURSE YOU!" the Prince roared as he, his servants and the whole castle were covered by the strange pink blaze of lotus. And the ball of light just vanished with the Enchantress still cackling merrily away in it.

Somewhere else in a tiny town of Millenium, an explosion could be heard.

"Nii-san!" the Beauty of the town cried as she rushed to the garage to see what her dear brother did this time.

"Lenalee~!" a joyful voice cried out in joy, "Have you missed me?~" a guy dressed in what used to be a white suit ran up to his sister with his arms wide, ready to glomp her.

"Nii-san!" Lenalee said annoyed as she kicked him in the face, "What did you do this time?"

"Ehh…"

"Nii-san!" she shouted experatedly for the third time.

There were more explosions with bits of metal flying out of the garage.

"KOMURIN XII!" Komui screamed in anguish, running to his beloved creation, and started on Komurin XIII from its remains. Lenalee sighed and went up to the house to read the new book she borrowed from the library- Howl's Moving Castle. Just as she sat down and was up to Sophie and Michael's adventures in the Seven league boots, she heard someone she greatly disliked…

"Good Morning Milady" Tyki said in his pleasant aristocrat voice as he walked right through her wall.

"Morning Sir Tyki Mikk." She said with a forced smile, "what brings you here?"

"Would the lady care to join me for a morning stroll, and perhaps some tea?"

"Well… I rather-" Tyki did not give her time to finish her sentence as he put her book down and swept her off her feet. "Heyy!" Tyki just smirked and flew out the door with a sense of gracefulness that no one other than him could accomplish.

"W-What are you doing?" She yelled in alarm trying to struggle out of his hold as he took her down to town.

"It is a pleasure to be strolling with Milady." He replied smoothly.

"I-I didn't say yes!" she huffed still in shock, "Put me down!"

"As you wish." He set her gently onto the ground, offering an arm for her to hold, being very gentlemanly as he always was.

"No thank you, my brother must be worried about me."She smiled politely, she could just imagine Komui attempting to assassinate Tyki with Komurin, his Octopi-gun, his collection of chemicals and all the other fascinating Anti-Lenalee-Stalker inventions.

"Your brother is crazy." Tyki commented, thinking the same thing, Lenalee found that she couldn't quite deny that, Komui had his phsycho mad scientist tendencies…

"He's just worried about me."

"More like obsessed." Tyki muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." He replied giving her one of his creepy charming smiles

"Well I better get going." She said as she hurried up the hill to the cottage she lived in with her brother.

"Allow me to escort you." He said, but before he was able to take a step towards her, he was glomp attacked by the horrifying fan-girly…err fan-boy triplets.

"Tyykii~" they screamed in unison.

"Ahh crap…" he thought silently to himself and set off in a run, a quick and graceful run, how he could manage that no one would ever know.

"Comee heeree my sweeeetie darling honey bunch~~" they screamed in delight, Debitto and Jasdero pulling out their guns shooting into the air happily with Jasdero's hair formed a looming curtain of doom above him. Tyki ran even faster and more gracefully than ever humanely possible. The triplets gave another scream and chased after him.

In the meantime, Lenalee oblivious to Tyki's troubles had a crying Komui stuck to her, telling how sorry he was that he wasn't there to kill Tyki for her.

"I-I will gain venegence *sob* f-for my dear *sob* Leenaaleeee!"

"It's ok nii-san, we both know it's going to fail like your other 2375 times, and besides you should save your energy for your journey to your science fair tomorrow."

"Leeeeenaaaleeeee!" Komui wailed some more. It was going to be a long, long day…

Soon the next day came and to Lenalee's amazement Komurin XIII didn't kill itself or tried killing some else.

"Lenalee, brother's going to be away for sometime." He said as he tied Komurin to their bird-Timcampy. Komui had injected him with one of his inventions that morning so that he would grow from the size of a tennis ball to twice the size of a horse to carry him and his robot.

"Have fun at your Science fair." She smiled at him, as she handed him a whole week supply of food. Komui burst into tears, "B-be strong L-Lenalee!"

"I will."

"Good." Komui smiled, his tears stopping at once, and his face turned into his evil mad scientist face, "I have prepared this Octopi-gun, this Gender-switching potion, this-" Lenalee kicked him in the face, "Nii-san!"

"But you need to protect yourself!"

To assure her brother, she took all the weapons of him, "Have a safe trip!"

Leaping up into the air happily he waved goodbye to her and jumped onto Timcampy. She watched them take off into the sky and going farther and farther until she could no longer see them.

"Hello Milady." Unfortunately Tyki had come again. Quickly she grabbed the Octopi-gun and shot at him. Tyki immediately ducked (gracefully) and it hit Sheryl who decided he would tag-along today.

"Gahhh! Get this stupid octopus of mee!" Sheryl screamed.

Lenalee took another shot, in which Tyki ducked again, adding another giant octopus to Sheryl's head, the 2 octopus on him now were so heavy that he fell over. Tyki swiftly grabbed the gun before she could shoot again.

"Milady has quite the aim."

"Thank you Sir, now if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do." Lenalee said as she started making her way back to the cottage. Tyki silently slid into her path.

"Move." She said sternly, not bothering to fake a smile.

"I was wondering if Mila-" BAM! Lenalee punched him in the face and pushed past him, ignoring his stunned face.

"Well that was unexpected." Tyki said smiling once more as Lenalee slammed the door, helping up his struggling brother who had managed to get one of the Octopi off himself, "See you later Miss." And he set off for the Millennium Mansion.

Throughout the week, storm clouds rode in, and didn't leave, but progressed to worsen as the week past. Lenalee watched from the foggy window as thunderous rainstorm hit the ground relentlessly, "Nii-san…" she whispered worriedly, wishing with her whole heart that he would make through the storm and be safe.

Lenalee had the right to be worried, Komui was not faring well, tears still stained his face as his Komurin XIII had been destroyed by the thunder, and his newly won Nobel prize along with it! Suddenly, through the mist he spotted a captivating Edo castle not far off, however he did not notice the menacing gates or the forbidding cliff the castle was on.

"Tim! Fly down to that garden there!" Timcampy gave a cute little chirp and flew down towards the castle, but the lightning struck towards their direction, Timcampy gave a swerve, just narrowly missing it and crashed down onto the garden, bringing down a few trees along with him, Timcampy started to shrink till he was his normal size from experiencing shock, Komui was mostly fine, other than a slight twisted ankle he received from the crash.

Timcampy gave Komui a lick and gave a sad whine at his master's injury. "It's okay Tim." Komui smiled stroking the bird, "I'm fine and thank you for avoiding that lightning." Timcampy gave him another lick and chirped happily. Then Komui noticed his surroundings, he felt like he just stepped into Wonderland. The trees that Tim had crashed into were cherry blossom trees, but there were many more, full of cherry blossoms frozen onto it, like it was encased in glass, "I have to bring one back for my precious Lenalee!" he said as he pluck one off an unfallen tree.

"WHO'S THERE?" a terrifying voice demanded from the mist.

Komui gulped and dropped his prize at once.

"YOU HAVE TRESSPASSED MY CASTLE AND DESTROYED MY CHERRY BLOSSOM TREES, AND YOU HAVE STOLE ONE OF THEM TOO!" the voice bellowed as a monstrous figure came through it.

"I-I'm r-really s-sorry!"

"FOR THIS YOU SHALL DIE!" the beast roared pointing a shiny sharp sword at him, Komui shut his eyes tightly as the beast raised the sword.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY STUPID BIRD." The beast commanded.

Komui opened his eyes to see Timcampy growling at the beast, "Tim! Runaway!"

The bird didn't move, but gave a purr to say he was going to stay with him.

"You have to Tim, you have to go back to Millennium Town to take care or Lenalee!"

"HURRY UP OR I WILL SLICE THROUGH YOU!"

The bird whined, not wanting to leave him.

"Master!" cried a new voice rushing to them, "Please don't kill him! …Umm… why don't you make him your prisoner instead?" Much to Komui's surprise a clock ran up to them.

"Yeah Yu-" the beast gave a growl, "I-I mean Master, you can make him your slave." Said a candle who appeared out of the mist next to the clock. The beast contemplated it for a few seconds, "So human, what can you offer to my castle?"

"Umm… I'm a scientist?" Komui said, trying to put on a brave face. The beast glared at him a few more seconds and dragged him in.

"Tim, I'm not gonna die now, go back to Lenalee." He whispered to the bird as he flew after him, the bird gave an unwilling tweet and flew off.

"Now that you are my slave, you will have to stay here forever." The beast said as they neared the giant castle doors, Komui took his last look at the outside world and the castle doors closed around him, trapping him in this gigantic dark prison, and he accepted his fate to never see his beloved sister again.

Lenalee was staring at the window, when she saw some strange yellow blob heading towards her and collided with the window.

"TIMCAMPY!" she yelled in surprise, and quickly opened the window to let the bird in, the bird rested tiredly in her hands. After catching its breath, the bird gave a long sentence of chirps which she somehow understood.

"Komui is in trouble? Locked in a castle by a horrible beast? We must save him!"

Having no idea where to find the potion that Komui used on Timcampy, she grabbed the boots, the Dark Boots that Komui had made for her so that she could fly away whenever some creepy stalker or any two legged creatures that were male were after her. She had never put those boots on, she had just kicked Komui in the face as she always did when he demanded her to put them on and let him teach her how to use it.

She put on the boots and held in her breath, waiting for the magic to happen, all at once she flew straight up into the air, she gave a scream, but 10 minutes later she found out that it wasn't that bad, and with a bit of practice making loops in the air, she got the hang of it, floating back onto the ground where Timcampy was waiting, she said determinedly, "Let's go Timcampy. Lead me to Komui nii-san."

"Is there something wrong Milady?" Tyki asked, materializing out of the mist. From the Millenium mansion he had heard Lenalee's scream and immediately came to his love interest's rescue, because he was sure after saving her, he would be able to control her, forcing her to marry him and stay with him in the miserable Millennium Mansion for the rest of eter-

"SORRY I GOT SOMETHING I NEED TO DO!" Lenalee shouted, bringing him out of his semi-day dream, accidentally kicking him square in the face with her boots as she flew past him and disappeared into the fogged up sky. "Love hurts." He thought aloud, touching his face where his new bruise was, though it was invisible on his dark gray skin.

Meanwhile, Komui had been thrown into the dungeons as his sleeping quarters and his laboratory, and was currently working away merrily at the new cleaning robot he was creating at the castle's talking feather duster's request, almost forgetting the plight he was in for now.

"Hello Mister Mad Scientist!" the merry candle said as he walked through the open dungeon door, with a trolley of food, a talking teapot, teacup and clock following him behind. The beast hadn't locked him up, allowing him to walk around the castle whenever he wanted, it seemed the beast wasn't _as _bad as he first seemed.

"Hi…uhh.. Mr Talking Candle." the mad scientist greeted.

"The name's Lavi." The candle said bowing, "This is Link-"

"Be careful with your pointing, its fire!" the tea pot named Link scolded.

Ignoring the teapot, Lavi continued, "Timothy-"

"Hello Mister!" the tiny teacup said, grinning cheekily.

"- and Miss Miranda."

"It's a pleasure to meet you sir…?"

"Komui."

"We hope you will enjoy your stay here Sir Komui, and we prepared some dinner for your hard work-" The timid clock continued.

"Wow! Dinner already? I always…. " And memories suddenly flooded back to him of whenever he forgot to eat, Lenalee would always prepare some for him and force him to eat, not before kicking him for forgetting to care about himself.

"LEEENAAALEEEEEE!" the grown man bawled, feeling extremely homesick and depressed to know he wouldn't see his sister again.

"I AM SOO SORRRYY!" Miranda cried, thinking she must have said something wrong

"Calm down Miss Miranda!" Link said in a stern motherly voice.

"OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE! I WILL GO GET SOME MORE FOOD!" and in her hurry she tripped, "AHH! I'M SO USELESS!"

And the night went on, with the the teacup, the teapot and the candle prevent the stressed-out clock from trying to commit suicide by jumping off the trolley and attempted to bribe the wailing man with cookies …

Timcampy finally lead her to the jail that Komui was imprisoned within, she couldn't help but gasp at the splendour of the castle, landing gently on the snowy garden, she almost forgot about her rescue mission, until Timcampy bit her ear to signal her to follow him. The castle was dark and just as freezing as the outside, but she followed Timcampy through the maze of hallways.

"Tim, do you know where we're going?" Lenalee asked an hour later as they reached a dead end. The golden bird gave an apologetic peep. "Timcampy!" she sighed as she realised the bird was just wondering around hoping to find Komui by some chance.

"Why, hello Miss! Do you need some help?" a happy voice chirruped from the darkness.

"Who's there?" she demanded as she picked up a candle to see who it was.

"Over here Miss." It said next to her ear, she spun around to see no one. Timcampy flew to the light flapping its wings at the candle.

"No! Don't Tim!" She didn't want the light to go out, leaving her to find the anonymous person in the dark, grabbing the bird, she tucked him into her pocket.

"I'm right here Miss~" She turned her head towards the movement and screamed and dropped the candle in shock.

"Owwiee!" the candle exclaimed, rubbing what she supposed was its head.

"Y-you can t-talk?"

"Why Miss you are GORGEOUS!" the candle said gawking at her, as it took a good look at her face, "You are the most-"

"LENALEE!" a familiar voice yelled.

"NII-SAN!"

Komui had his Lenalee-Danger radar up, he could sense someone hitting on his sister, and of course rushed over, running thousand miles per hour to save her from whoever the unfortunate soul was.

"_**LAVI!**_" he said threateningly as he stepped towards the horrified candle that was in the process of backing away as quickly as his little golden foot could allow him to hop.

"I GOT YOU!" He cackled evilly as he grabbed the poor candle around its body.

"Ehehehe…" Lavi laughed nervously, he wondered whether he feared Komui or Kanda more.

"Nii-san!" Lenalee reprimanded, kicking her brother in the head, and catching the candle before it fell onto the ground. The candle she now knew as Lavi was too scared of her psycho brother to make another comment on her gorgeousness.

"WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' NOISY HERE? I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE!" A ferocious voice hollered.

"Eeepp! It's Y-Yuu!" the candle whimpered.

Emerging from the shadows were a pair of narrowed foreboding golden orbs that formed the creature's eyes came closer and closer, revealing a hideous beast. It's over grown navy blue fur that dragged along the ground, surprisingly not making a single sound, cat ears stuck out of his head like the devil's horns, a long thin tail curled around him maliciously, as if it were a spring waiting to be set off and the beast scowled showing an untidy row of nasty teeth sharper than daggers. Lenalee gasped and dropped the candle for the second time.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"I-I've come to take my brother home!" Lenalee said firmly, determined not to cower in fear at the beast's feet.

"Lenalee!"

Ignoring her brother's warning cry, she stepped forward, daring the beast to deny her brother's freedom.

"He broke my cherry blossom trees and trespassed my castle, he will stay here as my servant Forever." The beast snarled, "However.." he continued, "If you agree to stay here in his place, never to see his family again, I will let your brother go."

She stared at the beast's golden eyes, blocking out her brother's shout to run away, "Agreed."

"NO LENALEE!" Komui shouted as he rushed in front of her, desperately trying to protect her from the beast. The beast just grabbed him by the throat, ignoring her shocked cry and threw him out the window, where he had a giant black bird, very similar to Timcampy, but ten times his size.

"Take him back to where he belongs." The beast spat. The bird obeyed and took off. Lenalee could only stare out of the window with tears pouring down her face as her brother screams for her name faded away. "Lavi and Miranda will show you to your room." Was the last thing he said as he left alone in the unwelcoming corridor.

Tyki felt the mansion tremble as a crash sounded upstairs where the Millennium Earl's office was, feeling curious he went up to see what happened.

"PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! LENALEE'S BEEN CAPTURED BY A HORRIBLE BEAST!"

Tyki stopped outside the door and frowned in distaste at the all too familiar voice wondering what his future-to-be-wife's lunatic relative was up to again.

"Oooohh! What do you think is happening, brother?" Sheryl asked, slithering over to rest his head on his shoulder, his body uncomfortably close to his back.

Giving a light shove to get Sheryl off him, he replied, "No idea."

And quickly slid to the side as heavy footsteps headed to the door, a wailing Komui ran out, knocking over Sheryl as he did so, howling, "I-I'LL SAVE HER MYSELF!"

Stepping through the door, Tyki saw a giant black bird flying off in the distance from a giant hole that replaced the wall.

"Well wasn't that interesting?" the Earl asked, his usual uncanny grin getting impossibly wider.

"I didn't even say goodbye…" she whispered as she stayed in her curled up position on her bed in her new room.

"Awww~~ Come on, let's stop being depressed!" a childish voice said, as the lights suddenly turned on, allowing her to see the elegant bedroom for the first time. A closet walked up to her, "Good evening the new resident of this castle, I'm Road. Come play dress-up with me~"

Lenalee found herself changing into many different cute dresses every second as the clothes danced around in the air. "Ahh! This one looks pretty~" the closet hummed, and she found herself in a frilly gothic Lolita dress, it reached her knees, unlike the skirt she normally wore which barely covered her legs. The wardrobe went on to order the comb and mirror to help her turn her hair into two curled up ponytails decorated with a black cross hairpin.

"All done~ Now you can join our adorable Kanda at dinner."

"Kanda?"

"He's the Prince of this castle."

Lenalee's face darkened, "No way."

"Uh-oh… I don't think he's gonna be very happy~"

"So?"

"The servants of this castle are going have to take the blame for it~" Lenalee could just imagine the wardrobe pouting as well, "Fine." She finally said, not wanting any of the other inhabitants of castle to get into a mess with the beast. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door, she opened the door to see a hatstand.

"Yes..?" she asked, feeling a little silly.

It jumped ahead, willing her to follow him, the hatstand led her down to a set of grand doors with gold encrusted onto it, "Please enter Miss." It said timidly, before hopping away.

She opened the creaky doors to find a very amusing sight, the beast was currently attempting to strangle Lavi the candle growling, "DO. NOT. CALL ME YUU-CHAN!" Lenalee did something she never expected she would do, she hit the beast on the head with a book she happened to be holding, "Let him go already!" she commanded. The beast snarled at her and through the candle onto the opposite wall, "Call me Yuu again, and I'll dice you up with Mugen." The candle nodded and ran away, and all the other objects also disappeared cautiously into the background. He went on to sit down and eat his soba.

Lenalee stood there shocked at what she did, she just hit the beast in the head and it hadn't killed her… yet. The beast raised and eyebrow at her, "Aren't you going to eat?"

"O-oh yeah." She sat down stiffly and ate soba as well.

* * *

**OMAKE!~ ( a loooooooooooonnngg omake)**

Vanila woke up to find herself in the process of eating her script, she quickly spat it out the paper and was relieved to know that it was still readable and her 48 sleepless hours of hard work had not gone to waste. She nodded satisfied to herself as she printed out 20 more copies of the 200-paged script and ran out to notify the whole Black Order to start memorising their lines.

As everyone gathered in the dining hall, there were lots of frowns and complains about their roles.

"Ehhh! Why am I am I the enchantress?" Allen asked, depressed.

"I think you'll look pretty." Lenalee said, trying to console him, she failed horribly, as Allen just got even more depressed about his girly looks.

"Ahahahah, the Moyashi in a _DRESS_!" Lavi laughed gleefully.

"Shut up _Candle_." Allen shot back.

"I am NOT MOTHERLY." Link said, his anger seething out of his clenched teeth.

"Well, I think you've been a pretty good _mummy_ for Allen." Vanila smirked back.

"NO WAYY!" Allen and Link shouted at the same time, before they both started discussing in passionate tones on what a horrible mum Link would make.

"Oi! Gaki, why am I the beast?" Kanda asked, his hand itching to get his Mugen.

"Cause you act super mean, but you're a nice soft teddy bear on the inside." Lavi replied before Vanila could. Kanda's eye twitched violently, "You have two seconds to run." Lavi ran for his life, not bothering to look back as heard Mugen swishing dangerously close. All the other people in the room stared after the duo for a few seconds, before arguing again.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT JASDEBI WOULD EVER LIKE TYKI!" the twins demanded as they searched for the author; who at the sight of them, decided that she would go off to make sure Lavi hadn't died by Kanda's hand.

"N-Noah!" Link exclaimed, all other occupants in the room didn't seem to notice anything.

"I must contact the Central immediately!" Link said panickedly, scanning the room for a golem, but he was knocked out by Sheryl who was in a tantrum, "WHYYYY! WHYYY! I AM NOT TYKI'S SIDEKICK! AND WHY AM I CURSED TO…." He continued to ramble on in the background, as everyone else in the room decided to ignore him

"I think it's a good story." Tyki smiled.

"Mnn~ I think so too~" Road agreed.

"Noah!" Link cried jumping up from the floor, right after waking up from his unconsciousness, he was knocked out again by Road, who was swinging Lero around, the poor umbrella was too dizzy to protest.

"Ohh yeah, what are you guys doing here?" Allen asked, as the exorcists in the room finally noticed the Noah. The Noah and exorcists started conversing in a pleasant conversation… an extremely rare sight indeed. Link woke up again, just to faint from shock of what was happening in front of him.

"…THE GUY THAT IS A PROBLEM!"Sheryl continued on with his ramble which had put the twins to sleep. Suddenly an unpleasant atmosphere smothered the hall.

The door creaked open. A lone white figure walked in.

"I am! The guy that is a problem." It was _the_ Komui, "Yay!~"

Sheryl passed out from shock of seeing the mad scientist who invented the Octopi gun- the cause of his demise.

"Nii-san." Lenalee said annoyed, as her brother cackled evilly.

"Hmm? What's this?" Komui asked, snapping out of his evil scientist-ness as he got hold of the script, but his overly protective brother-ness, took place of it almost at once as he realised that Lenalee was supposed to be in love with Kanda in the play.

"KOMURIN XIII!" the robot came crashing from the ceiling much to everyone's horror, "Destroy all copies of that script!"

Komurin proceeded to send missiles at the papers, as all the shocked Noah and exorcists dodged, "Nooo! We have to save the script!" Allen shouted over the commotion desperately, but he was hit by a needle from Komui's blowpipe, "I don't feel so goo…" he trailed off and fell over.

Vanila, Kanda and a dishevelled, dead-looking Lavi decided to return to the room that very moment, they were shocked to find debris covering the area. "These guys just can't survive without us, ne?" Lavi managed to joke weakly.

"My script!" Vanila grabbed the sheets of paper off Allen's black claws and sighed in relief to see that it was all there.

"C-can you get this off me?" Allen pleaded in a muffled voice, Vanila stared at the giant rock the was currently turning the poor boy into a pancake.

"You know, I don't have super strength nor am I compatible with the innocence?"

"C-can you h-hurry?"

"Oi Kanda!" The samurai Che'd and reluctantly slicing apart the rock and a few strands of white hair.

"Well I'll go make more copies~" Vanila chirped cheerfully to the Allen and Kanda who were arguing about who was the stupider of the two. She skipped away merrily but she was stopped in her tracks by a robot. But Lenalee came to the rescue as she brutally destroyed Komurin XIII.

"KOMURIN XIII!" Komui screamed, he received a kick in the face, he crashed into the debris somewhere but his voice could still be heard, "Ehhehehehe.. fear not Lenalee, brother will never let that girly-man ever come near you, and I'll never let that stupid Noah hit on you, and definitely not have one play dress-up with you."

"That's only a play nii-san!"

"I will never allow them to lay a finger on you! KOMURIN IV!"

The robot came bursting from the floor and snatched the script out of Vanila's hands and ripped it too shreds before anyone could react.

"MY SCRIPT!"

Two figures could be seen flying across the sky shouting something like, "I'm doing this for you Leeeenaaaaleeeeeee!"

Lenalee smiled cheerfully with a sense of apolegeticness (yeah doesn't make sense but this has gotten too random to make any sense at all ""), "I'm really sorry about my nii-san and his crazy invention."

"…My script…"

Suddenly Link popped out of nowhere, "Central says that the date of the play has been moved up from next month to tomorrow."

All in the play had one single thought in their heads, _'I'm going to murder you when I find you Komui.'_

_

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**Hope you liked it... as random as it was... and I dunno if I'm going to continue with the actual story or if i'll just make the omake part the main story, if i do, it'll be of the DGM people performing a play but with different characters this time, and I think i might do a shounen-ai pairing... anyways reviews would be nice, and it'll help me make up my mind on what to write=D**_  
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	2. Chapter 2

Suddenly Link popped out of nowhere, "Central says that the date of the play has been moved up from next month to tomorrow."

All in the play had one single thought in their heads, _'I'm going to murder you when I find you Komui.'

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Lenalee chewed on her soba thoughtfully as she observed the candle; Lavi conversing with the grumpy beast. Now that she had a better look at the beast, he really wasn't as scary-looking as she first thought. In fact he looked rather adorable. What she thought was fur was actually his long midnight blue hair that draped itself around him like a curtain covering most of his human skin. Other than his currently twitching cat ears, the tail that was trying to whack away the candle who kept dodging, and the whisker marks on his face that she hadn't seen in the dark, the 'Beast' looked perfectly human. Also excluding his teeth as well, Lenalee mentally added as the beast scowled showing his dagger-teeth. She giggled, who would have thought the evil beast was really a spoiled little kitten?

Kanda was not a sociable person; he remembered accidentally overhearing some servants saying that the day he socialised with someone, was the day the world was going to end, Kanda couldn't agree more. Stupid Lavi didn't seem to think so though, as he tried to coax him into talking with the girl. He tried whacking him away with his tail but the candle just hopped over it each time, damn the stupid rabbit's quick reflexes. "Like hell I will." He hissed back, baring his teeth, hoping the candle would scurry away and leave him alone. Then he heard a giggle from the girl, what the hell was wrong with her? Had she finally went loony from the shock of losing her brother?

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The backstage was very rushed as everyone, finders, exorcists and scientists scrambled around to get the cast ready for the play. Unfortunately, a few of the cast members were left out of commission and the death threats of some Noah it caused a big uproar.

Komui was currently in a wheel chair, and everyone in on the play decided the safest option was for Lenalee not to be Beauty, in case Komui let slip a Komurin that blast the whole place apart. Link did not want anything to do with the play at all, Jasdebi didn't either, and whoever tried to stop them would have been a dead man. Sheryl was still mumbling something about horrible stupid plays giving him the bad parts and Road insisted the Millenie was supposed to be one of the audience since he was the leader of the Noahs. In the end, nobody could reach a conclusion on what to do, and as the next day came, there was a mad rush to prepare for the impromptu play.

Allen found himself dragged into one of the make-up rooms by two finders. He saw two people were already there, fumbling around with some costumes and make-up. As they turned around, he recognised them as Vanila and Road.

"Hi Allen~kun!" Road squealed as she held out the beast costume to him.

"We've decided that you'll be the beast now!"

Allen grimaced, he didn't really want such a big part in the play, but at least it was better than the role of playing the enchantress wasn't it?

"I'm so happy there were also white cat-ear costume other than the blue ones~" Road sang as she did a little dance, holding a matching set of white-fur cat ear and tail set in her hands.

"I-I h-have to wear th-that?"

"Of course you do!" the two girls giggled.

Kanda was annoyed as someone interrupted his peace of eating soba, he was of course even more annoyed that when he got to one of the backstage dressing rooms, grandpa Tiedoll was there with his brotherly teammate- Marie.

"Ahh Yuu-kun you're finally here!"

"Shut up old man." He snarled, Kanda did NOT want to play the part of the beast, especially since it involved cat ears and tail, he could not imagine the sickening image of him with those hideous items on. But he paled as he saw his teacher push something even more horrifying in his face.

"Kanda, you're going to play the part of Beauty." Marie said cheerfully.

Toma was busy taking props around when he heard shouts. He dropped the cardboard tree he was carrying. Picking up the tree and making sure it didn't put a bend in the cardboard, he wondered out loud, "That sounded a little like Master Walker and Master Kanda."

"You're right." Toma turned to the sound of chuckle in surprise, "General Cross!"

The man gave him a feral grin, "I better get ready for my part in the play as well."

He walked on cackling about something like his stupid apprentice and an amusing play. Toma at that moment, though he wasn't very sure what was going on, felt very sorry for Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu. Whatever Cross was involved with, it could never be good.

Kanda was ushered by a very excited Lenalee to the backstage. Kanda did his best not to blush which a very hard feat was considering that he was in a _DRESS_. At least he a pair of comfortable long pants underneath, and a dress was just a bit like his exorcist uniform and a yukata(traditional Japanese clothing)… but then again his uniform and yukatas weren't _PINK_ and _frilly_.

He gritted he teeth and wondered how he got into this uncomfortable situation again. That's right, He had answered with a deadly, "Hell no." But in the next second, he found that he was restrained by Marie's strings, while he screamed obscenities at the both, Tiedoll had grabbed his Mugen off him saying, "Ohh Yuu-kun, please don't swear, it's very bad, and you shouldn't bring dangerous weapons into the play!" His swearing just got louder… and somewhat more obscene as they got his shirt off and slipped the dress over him. They had also tied a matching pink, frilly bonnet to his head, which he ripped off the second Marie released his strings. But before he could rip the dress off the dress as well, a jumpy hyperactive Lenalee- which was never a good sign- dragged him off.

People left and right were giving him horrified stares but they all squeaked and ran away under his cold glare. Just when he thought nothing could get worse, he saw a blob of white hair. Allen was dressed in the beast costume, with makeup covering his scar and black arm. Next to him, Vanila and Road were giggling away while holding his clip of white kitty ears and tail next to him for after the beast's 'transformation'.

"K-K-Ka-Kan-d-da?" The white-haired exorcist stuttered pathetically, his already large eyes bulging out of their sockets. Road and Vanila also stop to stare as well, before they burst into fits of laughter. He tried to glare them down till they were cowering in fear; it worked on Allen who seemed faint, but unfortunately his glare seemed ineffective on girls- hypo crazy yaoi fangirls.

"Pink isn't your colour." Road pointed out with an oh-so-innocent smile.

Lenalee seemed to have noticed what he was wearing for the first time, "Ohh! You're right! I was so excited that Kanda was playing the part of Beauty that I didn't look over his clothes properly!"

In a corner somewhere Allen squeaked in a high-pitch ghostly voice, he was too shocked that Kanda was playing the part of Beauty. Yes Kanda was a beauty, with beautiful features and all, but Kanda cross-dressing was just too much.

"It looks hideous, hideously hilarious." Vanila grinned evilly. Surrounded by a bunch of stupid girls who didn't notice his pissed-off-ness Kanda was way beyond pissed, he was furious. No. Furious didn't even describe it, his fury could have even brought the devil to his knees, Level 50 akumas would be fleeing in vain. Now that's a better description.

"Well, I think blue or indigo or some purply colour would be good." Lenalee said thoughtfully as she walked around Kanda in a circle, his frozen frigid fury going right through her untouched. The other girls nodded in agreement, and quickly rushed the stone-faced man into a change room, grabbing all sorts of pretty looking costumes they could find.

"Kyaaaa!" squeals filled the air, as Kanda was forced to change himself into many different dresses. The ignorant girls wondered why the icy coldness around Kanda seemed to increase by tenfold, they shrugged it off and continued to harass him to wear all sorts of different dresses.

Allen meanwhile was still sitting in a corner petrified, he didn't know whether seeing the man's angry face or the man in a dress scared him more. Even though the three hyper fangirls had dragged him off for some dress-up game, he could still feel the tense air that threatened to stab him all over with sharpened icicles. Kanda was just that scary.

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Noticing the beast was now staring at her, wondering if she was absurd, Lenalee quickly quietened down and started stabbing at her soba with intensity to hide her embarrassment.

"I would appreciate it if you don't break my chopsticks in half while you're in the process of destroying perfectly good soba."

Lenalee's flush deepened, "Sorry." She mumbled her face still staring down at the now chopped-up soba. The beast gave a grunt and a heavy akward silence fell over the table.

"Go on, say something to her!" Lavi urged.

Kanda ignored him.

"…Or are you not man enough? Is Yuu-chaan too much of a sissy lil' pussy cat?"

Kanda took a swing at him, he cursed the candle's quick reflexes as he barely jumped away in time from the wrath of Mugen. Lenalee looked up in alarm and all of a sudden the kindness in his heart decided to make an appearance. Not wanting to give the girl shock and grief over the dead body of the candle, he placed his trusted katana in its sheathe and sat down again.

"So… uhh.. how's life?" He randomly asked.

The girl stared at him, and he instantly felt stupid for bothering to ask, that stupid rabbit…

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Hmmm.. yesh this is waaayy shorter compared to the last chappie, but since I don't think anyones reading this story, and i'm just writing for my own amusement, I don't think it matters~

i'm not gonna bother saying that i don't own d. gray man, because if i said i did no one would believe me... whoopss... looks like i just said it... mehh


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